Reflections on Retirement: Year Three
Balance
By Jerry Ziskind
In thinking about the past year I believe I am beginning to come to terms with an ongoing issue for me—time spent doing productive activities versus time doing more pleasurable activities. Before retirement the issue for me was work versus play. Now that much of what I do is my own choice I still feel some discontent if I don’t do enough productive activities, that is, activities that contribute to others needs and/or accomplish something useful.
The beginning of my third year of retirement, that is July, August, and early September (I still plan and think on a school year calendar), my productive activities included volunteer tutoring, interviewing my Mother, editing my Father’s story, working on the Ethical Society’s Long Range Plan of which I was chair of the committee, serving on the Commission on Aging, as well as everyday chores. Fun activities included needlepoint and reading, which I did primarily evenings, and weekly outings with my wife Rosemary. I also enjoyed short breaks during the day to play computer games.
As school started early in September I felt that I needed to be doing something more productive, more useful to society. I was in the middle of serving a few weeks of jury duty on September 11, 2001. The extraordinary events of that day exacerbated my feelings of unrest. Coincidentally a few days earlier I had gotten a phone call from our school system social worker that there was a need for someone to "home school" a family of three children. I eagerly accepted this part time teaching job.
I greatly enjoyed working with these children, one of whom I had taught in first grade and was now 12 years old. She had been a favorite student of mine. Her sisters were equally delightful. I taught them three days a week for two to two and a half hours. Though the hours were limited, additional time was needed to gather materials and prepare lessons. I continued working with the family until the end of December.
My working with the children was a compromise worked out between the family and the local school system. Specific details would be inappropriate other than to say that at times it was a difficult, frustrating experience. I enjoyed having the few extra dollars I was earning and feeling purposeful and useful, especially at this difficult time for our country. However I chose to stop working with the children at the end of December because I felt they needed to be in (public) school and my presence was enabling the family to avoid what I perceived what was in the best interests of the children. In addition I found the demands of teaching, along with the commitment of chairing the Long Range Planning Committee, which culminated in November, filled more of my time than I wanted. I did not have any time for my writing.
From January on, I focused my productive time energies on finishing editing my Father’s story and learning how to build this web site. I have always considered learning a "productive" activity. I believe that I need to learn and grow if my retirement years are to be satisfying to me. I felt no need to work with children—apparently my "home schooling" experience satiated that need. I completed the web site in May, just in time to meet my goal of being able to announce my web site at a family reunion.
Since May, by choice, I have had no major "productive time" commitments. In addition to Tai Chi practice session about three times a week, I began to work out in a semi-supervised exercise program two days a week. I enjoyed working more regularly in my garden. I continued to deal with some of the accumulated papers in my office. The pace of my life is much more relaxed. I have fewer self-imposed deadlines and don’t seem to worry as much about what I am getting done.
Have I finally adjusted to retirement? Have I learned to relax and take it easy? Not really. I still do "fun" activities like needlepoint and reading fiction in the evenings. I have started to take little chunks of time during the day to do something fun, but when I read during the afternoon it is still non-fiction. Rosemary and I still take our weekly outings and on occasion get away for a few days on short trips. We took a wonderful week vacation to Hawaii during February.
As the third year of my retirement concludes I realize more than ever the diverse possibilities retirement offers. While I still work at balancing productive and pleasure activities, I am definitely learning to relax more. My need to be productive and useful remains—I agreed to serve for the next year as President of the Board of Trustees of the Northern Virginia Ethical Society. This is a major commitment of time and energy. Filling the responsibilities of this position will help me grow which I think is important in a successful retirement. However I will need to be more aware of keeping balance in my life.
Copyright © 2002 Jerry Ziskind